Promise Yourself Only the Best

Promise yourself

to dream more and hesitate less.

To believe in yourself more

and judge yourself less by

the accomplishments of others.

To appreciate your family

and friends

for all the wonderful ways

they make your life better.

Promise yourself

to accept life as it comes

and truly make each day special.

To become more independent

and more willing to change.

To full your life

with special times,

and make your dreams come true.

-- Deanna Beisser

for me - i tend to hesitate on life - i sometimes second guess myself and end up not doing anything - i also can get down on myself for not living up to my own expectations - but all in all i think i have a good outlook of myself/life - i still have things i need to change and improve - i still have body image issues - i still critique myself way too much and too often - but i can say i'm starting to accept a little more

i realize i do need to love myself more in order to love others fully - i need to be complete within before i can complete others - it's something i vow to commit my life to - being complete

here's to being complete! 

Hurricane Sandy

the tide surged in and wiped away dreams - lives crushed - spirits destroyed - agony tearing away at the heart - it was only a matter of minutes - those precious minutes that some didn't have - complete darkness - no connection to the outside world - water gushing in and out - the wind howling a mean song - mother nature is making herself known she's here and she's angry - screaming and crying - trees falling on top of cars/houses/roads - all highways and parkways are shut down - there's no where to go - curfew laws set in place - mandatory evacuations - state of emergency official - live power lines sparking in the streets - transformer boxes blowing, lighting up the sky as if it was the 4th of July - swirling winds - house shaking and rattling - cold - ice cold - raining - alone - scared - no idea what was going on anywhere else - heart pounding - anxiety at an all time high - what am i going to do? - eyes wide awake when they should of been resting, but too scared to close them - exhaustion setting in - i can hear parts of my house flying away -  praying for it all to stop and for daylight - daylight to 'see' what actually was going on - how am i going to recover and restore? - what stories am i going to hear? - did Joe and his family make it? - where are they? - no phones - no tv - no internet - silence - silence for days 

Hello Helloooo ..

Open Letter to the Universe:

hi ya Universe - things have been pretty crappy down here - ok, i'm lying, not totally crappy, but ya feel me? - how's it going in your neck of the woods, bro? - crazy shiz is happening, I KNOW! - do you know it's December and i have yet to wear a coat?! - just the new cape i got from Nordy, i'm sure you see me in it all the time when you pop around! -- i gotta tell ya Universe, you're sorta' letting me down! - i'm trying to kick ass down here and u got me punching into thin air here, which has gotten' me no where! - *whamp whamp i know - stop with the pity* -- i got all these ideas - all these "wants" - all these ambitions - all these pieces of me that i don't know what to do with - i literally feel like i'm a million piece puzzle - just for the fact i know there's SO many facets of me and all the things i'm interested in and wanna be #1 at as - i just wanna that evolution of the revolving door to keep going - problem?! - REAL LIFE - not so easy when bills need to be paid and training and new schooling along with the pursuit of the right fit - i just want a lil slap on the face telling me 'here's the plan girl - now go get em' - too much to ask? -- i'm looking at my compass and each day it brings me to a new enchantment - which is better then the other? - in the long run Universe, can you kinda' clue me in on a lil of where i should head? - what the 1 MAIN right move right now would be? - i told ya it was a bit shizzy down here - BUT in no case am i giving up - just in a dizzy trying to fix my shiz - where do i wanna bring myself? - that right there, is what the question truly IS, WHERE to bring myself!?! - that's emotionally, physically, spiritually, sightly, knowledgeably, ect. - so what's up Universe - wanna spend a night with me in my dreams and maybe we can figure this one out? -- come on' - a night with me would be fun .. plus we haven't seen each other in AGES -- come by sometime soon and give me the heads up if you can - this way i can get us some cheese and crackers and wine to sip on while we review this life of mine ..

Thanks honey-bunny Universe!

ur lovah' Erika aka Tiptoe Butterfly/Tiptoe with Curiosity

((( i didn't want any confusion Universe, all 3 are me, *mwah* )))



Stay Positive

i have BIG news to tell my family and 1 thing i'm scared of is the above comment - my family has strong opinions and they think "there way" is the "only and right" way to do things - but i'm NOTHING like my family - i'm kinda' the kid who just didn't "fit" into my family - my dreams, aspirations, loves, thoughts, beliefs are drastically different then the ones my family share - and i'm just PRAYING to the heavens and the Universe when i share my LIFE CHANGING NEWS they will accept me and let me LIVE the life i feel i was meant to live - lots of changes will happen - things will be very different - i'll be a bit out of my comfort zone for awhile, yet feel i really am just slipping right into my comfort zone - instead of living a life that is NOT my authentic self - i choose NOW to be my authentic self and be the woman i am - not caring why my family thinks anymore - to the point of disassociation from them if they are not willing to accept me for who i am and what i believe ..

the biggest challenge lately is that i get yelled at time and time again for "being too nice", "caring too much", "helping others before myself" -- but THAT'S me - i am that nice girl who goes WAY out of her way for others with no expectations - but i am also the girl who wonders how people/family can be so insensitive and so stuck up their own a$$es if you know what i mean - i always wanted a CLOSE KNIT family - not so the case really - once people get added to "family" and they don't mesh things go haywire and i don't like it ..

i like happiness and love - i want to see a rainbow whenever possible - i want to move to Africa and be free of everything - i want to better educate myself in so many areas to be super human brain source - i want to fill my days with volunteer work - travel to friends homes who are sick and help them clean and make them meals - i wanna see a Shaman every week - dedicate myself to 40 mins of meditation every day - get involved in my community and make new lifelong friends - push the envelope if you will to be a BETTER ME!

12 months from now i hope to be the EXACT person i am meant to be - find my inner soul and listen to it - get my body in tip top healthy form - live an organic life - be carefree with my spirit - and love most importantly - i really wanna LOVE, something i have just shut down for quit some time - i want my heart to be open - to feel love and to not limit the amount of love given to me - i want to be MORE then i am today

i wanna educate myself in a few more fields - look into master degree programs - find part time jobs that will equal up to a full time one - do what i want - i always wanted to work at the mall, so YES i'm gonna try n get a job at the mall - i am going to accomplish all the dreams i have in my head and act them out - get my bucket list back out and start crossing off things .. i'm ready!

12 months here we go - lets do this - we got A LOT of work to do!!!

Pencil

a friend sent this to me today - it's something i feel we ALL should read and take in!

The parable of the pencil...

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside just before putting him into the box. "There are 5 things you need to know," he told the pencil, "before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in someone’s hand.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil.

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside.

And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write."

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.

Now, replacing the place of the pencil with you, always remember the advice and never forget it, and you will become the best person you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems in life, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.

And Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

Allow this parable on the pencil to encourage you to know that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish. Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and cannot make a change.

High Five!

man - last night i just HAD it with a few people - and um YES it is a good thing i didn't read this quote first b/c there would of been a high five .. in the face ... with a chair! - haha

peace - love - happiness!